Dr. Phil To 18-Year-Old Dating 14-Year-Old: ‘You Do Realize That It Is A Violation Of The Law’Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil straightdope. Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks. I work at a small liberal arts college. I have a co-worker with whom I'm work chums we're not bosom buddies but we like each other at work- I'm sure you've had one. He ended a long-term relationship last year non live-in and I was glad when he said he'd met someone who really "did it for him"- bright, vivacious, intellectual and, I just learned when I met her- 19 years old. This 18 Year Old Girl is Dating a 68 Year Old Man
I learned this from experience, but also from Ludacris. Admittedly, I prefer older guys, only because they tend to be fully fused, like a human skull. The idea that young people like older people because of the financial security is irritating.
I like the Civil War, documentaries, and talking about whiskey as though it were a zaftig prostitute, so old guys and I get along. Either he was self-conscious about dating a younger lady, or he tried to pay for everything because he thought I expected it.
Women who feel otherwise are the reason we get paid 89 cents to their dollar. We still live in an age where men get to age like credenzas, and women like unrefrigerated dairy.
I think we can all agree that this is stupid and move on. Some old people are hot, some young people are not. But a year age difference seems to be very controversial. As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes it is hard for me to remain in the judgement free zone sigh. Full disclosure: my husband is 11 years my senior.
However, his spirit age is seven, and mine is 32, so. Ask yourself: What have his previous relationships been like? Does he respect your opinions and want to learn from you or does he just want to be the boss?
Despite the age difference, do you feel like equals? What makes a 36 year old man want an 18 year old girlfriend outside of sex and her starry eyed adulation? She will think he's great no matter what a loser he is but at 18 I thought something as simple as owning your own car was impressive. I could see a 30 year old with a 50 year old because hey a 30 year old woman knows what life is about.
I'm confused. But there's nothing wrong with that. She can have that 'luxury'. Be sisterly. Talk about how you are cautious nowadays or even in the past and what you do to make sure you don't get hurt or sick, etc. Basically try to make sure she uses protection and has the guy tested. I'm 21 and ever since I can remember I've always liked older men. I'll definitely date a 40 year old man without much hesitation as long as we love each other.
You can talk to your sister and tell her that you are concerned and that you're always there for her if she needs advice, otherwise leave her alone, you should and can never define happiness for her.
When I was 21, I dated a tattoo artist 12 years my senior. My parents hated it, plenty of people around me told me they thought it was weird, but to be perfectly honest it was the healthiest relationship I'd had so far in my life.
We dated around 9 months and amicably split up.
What do you think about a 18 year old [girl] dating a 35 year old [man]?
As long as this guy isn't harming her, I wouldn't sweat it. If you still have doubts, perhaps meeting him would be a good move so you can decide for yourself if you think he's completely suitable. If you happen to spy any red flags during this meeting, then you can voice any discomfort to your sister provided she'll actually take any advice on board - we were all headstrong teenagers once.
Honestly don't do anything. I would just try to keep myself away from the situation if it bothers me, because there really isn't much you could do. I can't see really any valid reason for you to meet him, it would probably just make you uncomfortable and feel worse about the situation.
Just let her go about her business and be respectful if you ever see the guy around. It probably won't last anyways. Here's the Urban Dictionary definition of Campsite rule :. This includes no diseases, no fertilized eggs, no undue emotional trauma, and whatever education that can be provided. But its her life. Tell her indirect or direct how u feel about her with a guy that's twice her age.
Make her aware of your situation tell her how things are at her age.
Do You Date Age-Appropriately?
Advice her but don't force her. Precaution is always better than cure. Be gentle. Place your views and listen to hers as well. If she understands well that's awesome if no then she'll learn from her mistake. You dont have to meet the guy. The very fact he is 36 and is interested in your sis who is 18 speaks for itself.
Your sister is a kid in front of him. She has a lot to learn from life and from you. The commenter believes it is obvious and given that if a 36 year old man will date an 18 year old woman, he is damaged in some manner.
That's why it speaks for itself Since you had to ask, it sounds as though you are at least a bit more open-minded. I'd like to tell you that someone who dates someone half his age is as likely to respectable as anyone else, but in reality you have to decide that for yourself - and either way, your sister has her own agenda, which this guys fits into.
You might notice a whole lot of mixed reactions in the comments here I really don't think the Internet is going to be able to help you decide how to feel.
If you see him as a creeper at all, ask yourself why. Ask yourself why it would be an indication of low value, as well as why it would not. Analyse the arguments made by both opposing positions, ask yourself what kind of agendas might be behind the arguments for or against. Feeling protective toward a younger sibling is natural enough, and it makes sense to look at all possible angles. Still, you are not her, what is right or wrong for you is not always going to be the same for her, so the best you can do is just be there for her.
It matters more than anything else.
Should a year-old date an year-old? , I know a guy who is 35 dating a girl (yes, I said girl, not woman) who has just turned Dating and relationship coach, author. 10/28/ Since you are 18 years old, you are allowed to date a woman half your age plus seven." Son looked at When you're 35, you can date a and-a-half-year-old woman. tl;dr: My sister (18) is dating a much older unmarried man (36) and seems quite attached. Should I meet him? What should I say when I do?.
She might well resent judgements you throw her way, but if you avoid that and are simply there for her, your relationship as siblings will get ever stronger and she will be more protected from harm and bad things than if you ever preach at her.
Usually guys don't date such young girls. And he is a man. It's strange that he is interested to be with someone half his age. According to me it could be a fling. I don't think that man is going to be serious about your sister. There are alot of assumptions.
But I haven't met that guy to give you a proper explanation. I'm in a huge age gap relationship I'm 21, he's 46 and I will warn you that something's probably "wrong" with your sister's partner. My BF is unmarried, has no kids, and is financially quite well off, but he has asperger syndrome so his emotional maturity think teenage boy has perpetually alienated him from the family oriented dating pool. It's not necessarily normal, but our relationship works quite well for us and honestly our age difference doesn't even feel real unless we hit pop culture references.
The trick is figuring out if he's an asshole manchild or not.
If he displays controlling or belittling behavior towards your sister you've got a problem. Power distribution is a BFD in age gap relationships because of the inherent social power older men have in society. Talk about your sister, see if he's been listening to what she says about her interests and aspirations.
Beware if he dominates the conversation about his life or interests. If he seems all about him then it's even worse at home. Honestly, I'd be more focused on talking to your sister.
If she thinks you're attacking him she'll probably circle the wagons. I've got a sister who's your age. We had a convenient road trip about three months after I started dating my BF. We spent six hours talking through it, pulling apart the weirdness and why it made me happy. I'd be lying if I said she was thrilled with the situation my parents actually are more okay with itbut I laid my cards out on the table and she accepted that I was really happy and we were in a good place.
I've discussed dating out of your demographic with men and women . to think about kids or how old someone will be when I'm 35, because I. My parents had an 18 year age difference (she was 16 and he was 34 but I honestly do question the motivation of the average 35 year old. Young man (23) dating an older woman (35) 12/3/ AM; Tincho we've been married 18 years now, have a wonderful 16 year old son and a solid.
If you can sit down with your sister and ask her to explain the age gap from her perspective you'll have a chance to learn more about him dating history, family life, etc. As for the marriage thing If it does look like she's really angling for marriage and make sure it's her idea, not his I'd try to hold her off. If her partner is just a nice guy who's emotionally immature or socially inept, marriage is probably not the route your sister wants to go.
Warts and all can mean a lot of baggage for a manchild, and BF"s fear of children makes me very biased kids with a guy who isn't great at being an adult will not be a fun ride. If your only objection to him is age, you should get over it.
35 and 18 dating
Treat him like you would any other guy who came to date your sister. My boyfriend is 12 years older than me, and we have a happy healthy relationship.
I've known people with 20 year age differences that did just fine. Your post history shows that you yourself stated that he treated you like a child for five years of your relationship and that you were constantly off and on for years.
I've known people with large age differences crash and burn. I agree that she should give the guy a chance, but definitely be on the lookout for flags. When two children engage in a relationship, they treat each other like children.
We both grew up. And age had nothing to do with it. When we started going out I was a child. I grew up and he didn't notice. I had to give him the chance to grow up as well.
I did and now we are extremely happy.
I'm glad that your current relationship is that of a happy one, but can't you see that you proved the ages old tale that he dated someone of a lower maturity and age to match that of his own. I don't see how that contradicts anything I said. I said that he dated you because of your matched maturity levels. And any problems we had would have been the same were we the same age.
Our problems didn't stem from age differences. Mostly they stemmed from his extremely abusive upbringing. I feel like you were very lucky then. Both our opinions are born from experience. Yours favorable, mine were not. So because you had a shitty experience with an older partner, you're an ageist?
I guess that you're okay with misogyny then.
You know those girls who refuse to date anyone younger than they are, much less anyone their own age? They have a specific, thought-out. The only issue is our age difference—he’s He doesn’t think it’s a big deal, and, like him, I also sort of believe that age is just a number. My best friend already told me, “If you date that older guy I’ll never speak to you.”. Absolutely nothing wrong with it at all. There are some ladies who have better relationships with much older guys than immature young ones.
When you're both young and treat each other shitty it's usually because you're inexperienced enough that you are still immature. But if by the time you are older and had all these experiences and still haven't matured then you're probably never going to hence why it's such a red flag. Age difference relationship here too- mostly due to my maturity, not the other way round. The problem here is that she's 18, and she has just become an adult. The next few years are and will be a huge learning curve.
She won't be prepared for an age difference relationship compared to someone in their twenties and will be more susceptible to manipulation etc. However, OP did say that he seemed like a nice guy, so who knows, they might last, or they might not. When I was 19 I dated a 32 year old.
He was a sleazy fuck. Thankfully I was only in it for thesex and had no illusions of some deep emotional connection. It sounds like your sister is looking for an actual relationship.
If i was you Id continue being involved with your sister and get to know him. If you keep your cool, she will value your opinion. Pick the battles, save them for when they are important. Im not saying this is a good situation, but having a friend and sister who she trusts can keep it from being horrible.