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I am a christian and dating an atheist
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I realised that the power of prayer is personal and emotional, even if I don't believe it's spiritual AFP. You can form your own view. Subscribe now. Comments Share your thoughts and debate the big issues. Join the discussion. Please be respectful when making a comment and adhere to our Community Guidelines. Create a commenting name to join the debate Submit. Please try again, the name must be unique Only letters and numbers accepted.
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Great advice! I married an unbeliever just six or so months after getting saved. The Holy Spirit I could feel was telling me not to go that path, but I did not listen and he was right. He showed me that it would pull me down spiritually and that I was not strong enough. I definitely did not see how far I drifted away from God and started loving the world. Years after we got married I started to Pursue God after not for a while.
This was terrible. So much conflict in the family and lots of mockery. I never in my wildest dreams thought that my heart would turn from God, but it did. And so now we are divorced and everything that I attained from that marriage is completely gone except for my precious daughters. Yeah I would run from that situation as quick as you can. Its awful. Pray the Lord would graciously give you more passion to follow him with your whole heart…. I heard a pastor recently talk about God turning our mess into our message.
Thanks for this encouraging message. Yes I do struggle with that very thing allot, and he is using me already to warn my sisters. I am so thankful he is so good to do the things we are so incapable of doing. Blessings to you and your ministry! I love reading your blogs. Paula, great advice. She must have doubts, because she emailed you. Great advice, Paula. I was stupidly seeing an unbeliever many years ago, and what put me in a non-thinking frame of mind was his persistence in pursuing me and always flattering me.
I knew what his intentions were, and I foolishly went along with it for awhile. The bucket of ice water came big time—you could say I had an epiphany—and I dropped the guy friend.
It was really awkward because he lived near my apartment. God in His mercy, had another plan for me. I repented of seeing this guy and I told my best friend of the relationship. The guy moved out of state and I met an incredible godly man the following year. We have been married for over ten years. G-E-T a life and flee! I think I also needed this. My efforts have evidently been very futile. Oh, Tumi, I am so, so glad to hear that.
Praying for you now! Feel free to let me know how it goes. People should be free to love who they feelost happy with. Even though we had different views, she cared for me deeply. I have to disagree with this whole article. When my ex boyfriend and i started dating I was die-hard pagan and he is a very strong Christian man. I lost my faith as a teenager during an extremely difficult battle with depression and swore that I would never be Christian again. During my relationship with my boyfriend I was very honest with my beliefs, just as he was with his.
He never pushed me to change my beliefs, but he did show me how God worked in his life daily and spoke about God like they were best friends. He was very patient and waited for me to suggest that we go to church. This man took my hand and led me back to God just by his actions, without preaching or pushing. I am still growing in my walk with God, and have regular stumbles, but, if a Christian man had ran from me when he found out I was pagan, I would still be pagan.
God puts us in peoples lives for a reason. This young lady should speak with God and listen to what He has to say. It may be her job to help this man find God, it may not. That if for her to discuss with God. I think God will lead in different circumstances. This may be a case of temptation or it could be God putting her in the right place at the right time to bring someone else to him. We have no way of knowing. Thanks for sharing your story.
His grace is never limited. I am in a somewhat similar position, a guy I met through work has been intensely pursuing me since we met. I kept refusing because he is not a christian but finally I gave in and we have been dating for a few months. However I told him we could never be serious because he is not a christian so he said he is willing to try going to church.
I just wondered if this is worth it because he pursues me so intently but I wonder, Would God allow an unsaved man to be so interested in me?!
I have a close friend whose boyfriend pursued her intently and started going to church with her. For your sake, I want to plead with you to call it off with him. I loved this article! I think people have mixed feelings about this article and might even misunderstand it. I totally get where you are coming from. My youth group began playing ultimate Frisbee as a way to get the youth and other unsaved teens and young adults to interact.
We would talk about God and invite the lost to come to church. He began showing an interest in me. In my head, I thought that I could change him. He continued with his old ways.
I was left broken and he never got saved. I think the point of this article is to help young women not get hurt from relationships that are unequally yoked. God wants to save us from the heartache. Be patient and pray! Temptations and loneliness can be strong but stay close to God.
I want my saved husband to go with me and be by my side. You will shed tears and God will wipe them and comfort you. Being honest— you need to get away from this guy. Most likely he is saying this to see if he can get any further with you physically.
You might think he has the best of intentions and cares about you, but please do not believe it. Reading this made my stomach churn. We both used to have a physical and emotional relationship until recently she decided to stop and put God first. I completely respected that and am even loving her more than ever. I want to be her biggest supporter as I know I cannot lead on the spiritual side of things.
We are tight though in a weird sort of way. He can read me like a book and trusts me beyond belief. I have loved this man for seven years. He has never returned with the same kind of love.
He loves me like a sister, but I would marry him if he would ever give his heart and soul to Jesus. But I Love him!! I have this weird peace.
I honestly feel like I am supposed to wait for him to find Christ. I refuse to be close to him right now but I just feel like I am supposed to wait. What if I never get married cause I am waiting for a man who has never even acknowledged that I exist, like that anyway…????
If I may be blunt here, please know these words come from my heart. You say that he has never indicated an interest in you beyond sisterly friendship. So please continue to pray for his salvation. The important thing for you to be doing right now is personally growing in your relationship with God. As you focus on Scripture, prayer and service to others, you can be assured He will use every situation in your life to prepare you for what only He knows is ahead for you.
You can trust Him with your heart and your future, my friend! Praying for you this morning, friend! Umm, thanks. I will think on it. My heart was not to insult you at all, my friend, but to point you to Christ and to encourage you to search your heart to make sure that Christ is the center and not this guy. Please know that my comments come from my concern for you. I apologize. I asked for an opinion. I should have simply accepted it. Please pray for me. Yesterday we were walking home from work and he suggested we drop by a Catholic church in the neighborhood.
We did and I prayed a bit while he looked around. I came to Jesus when I was adult y. Please help me and pray for me. Oleksandra… This is going to be very difficult.
The biblical teaching is to not be unequally yoked. This teaches that two people that are committed to center their lives in Christ which Christians desire to do have the freedom to date and allow the Holy Spirit to guide them in their relationship.
Trust the Lord not only with the moving out of this relationship but with what He has for you in the future. For the Lord honors those who honor Him. See Isa. Let me encourage you to spend time on your relationship with God. Get into the Word of God, Oleksandra. The joy and peace it gives to know God more intimately surpasses the pull of an unhealthy relationship. Look for relationships in a Christian group that bring refreshment to your life.
Is there a Bible Study for young adults you could join? Is there a strong evangelical church in your area with a young adult group? I know this is not an easy thing to do.
Be assured we have prayed for you. I am praying God will give you the courage and strength to want to do the right thing, and to do the right thing. I pray God will help you, confirm your faith in Him, and confront the young man you are dating with the Gospel, drawing him into a relationship with Christ.
I know you desire that so much, and we do too. Thank you for giving us opportunity to speak into your life and for the privilege to pray for you. God bless you, for your desire to do what God would have you do.
You have made a decision to be in love with this person. Question is, do you want to love him or save him? Question your own motives. There is nothing wrong with people being in a relationship with an atheist or anything else.
I have been an atheist all my life and have been married to a christian woman for 15 years now. Our kids go to church with her and I even like to go to my kids programs at their church. For all you out there with this question on your minds there is nothing wrong with it, if you do not agree then do what you feel is right but I hope you know we are all the same at the end of the day.
The reason why I gave up religion was because I wanted to dedicate my life to being a good, moral, ethical person —without anything attenuating that. An atheist hates the very idea of there being a God.
This is fractally wrong on so many levels and a profoundly ignorant mischaracterization of Atheists. Christians on the other hand in the majority of cases who hold a tremendous emotion stake in their beliefs.
The notion that their beliefs are false would be too upsetting for them to contemplate. They simply could not bear their carefully structured world view to be exposed as delusion or fraud. Not surprisingly only a few lowered their hands. This interesting thought experiment plus day to day observation of human nature signals to me that it is religious believers who maintain their beliefs from emotional motives. I have been a believer since I was about 10 years old. I committed myself to Christ and decided to follow Him at all costs.
I guess I didnt realise at what cost I will be required to pay. As every woman desires, I desired to fall in love, and marriage with a good Christian man. But I went to a girls boarding school and never met any boys.
While I don't feel like I had a particularly religious upbringing, on a God-centric but non-Christian spirituality that worked perfectly for me. Kate and Erik joke about how forcing atheists and Christians to date would While neither has a definite answer, they both feel like giving the. What I've learnt as an atheist from dating a devout Christian Now, when she says she'll pray for me, I feel warm, I feel supported. I know that.
I left school at Then at university in the United Kingdom, I met lots of guys but they were not Christians, and I was single throughout. After graduating, I did further studies, but never met a Christian guy…you know the idealist Christian guy that blogs like these speak about. I am now 33 and the only guys I have ever dated have been through work, and I have never met a Christian man at work.
They have always been atheist. Because I have always had this fear and guilt of dating a non Christian, I have never been able to fully commit to a non-believing guy.
Articles like this highlight the choice Christian women have to make when they follow Christianity. I attend Church and in fact attended a mega Church in London for 7 years, but I never met any single Christian men there. All the Church ministry activities I did were full of women. Men in general just dont seem to want to serve in Church here in the UK. I attend a medium church now with lots of young single Christians, but there are maybe beautiful Christian girls to 10 Christian, God-loving, Bible-believing guys.
Its great for happily married Christian couples in their twenties and early thirties shouting dont marry him etc etc, but I am 33 and I have lost hope. NO MEN. Do you have any idea how hard it is? So basically what you are saying to me is that I should remain single? My young life is gone, I am still a virgin and I am still waiting for this amazing Chrisitian marriage-material man. Can you see how sad my life is? Can you see? There are christian women for every 10 christian guys…can you see that you are telling me to remain an umarried virgin for the rest of my life?
Is it fair to say that maybe if the world was full of Christians, then yes a Christian woman should obviously seek out a believer. The majortiy of people are non-christians or non-practising, or agnostic.
So in a world like this, what a Christian women supposed to do? Remain single and virgin the rest of their lives? Has anyone thought about a solution to this? Marry a non-Christian. You are 33 and have spend 15 years of your adult life a virgin without a mate. Hi Joe, thanks for your kind response. Her faith is in no way diminished for marrying me nor do I stand in her way in her faith journey.
I do however accompany her to church one in a while. Despite our faith differences the love and the marital bond is there every bit as if we believed the same.
I hear your pain, Melina! The waiting can be very, very hard. But let me exhort you to not lower your standards. Our highest purpose in life is not to be a wife and mother.
The highest purpose we can ever hope to achieve is to serve God faithfully where He has us regardless of our circumstances. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.6 Christians vs 1 Secret Atheist
There is indeed a loneliness that far surpasses what you may be experiencing now. Not being one in spirit with your mate is devastatingly lonely. The only One who can fill the void you feel in your life is Jesus Christ.
Run to Him, Melina! Pour out your heart, your dreams and your desires to Him and then surrender them all to Him choosing to entrust your heart and your future to Him. Then I challenge you to look around you. Where can you serve Him with all your heart as you wait for Him to reveal the plan He has for you? Will you pour your life into the lives of others? In doing this you will begin to live your life with an eternal focus rather than a focus on the here and now.
Stay in the Word, my friend. It will keep you anchored to the heart of God! Thank you for your kind response. I am trying to pour myslef into helping others but its so hard with this burden in my heart. I wish I understood what you mean about Jesus filling the void in my heart. I really wish I did, because I am already a Christian, and have been for over 20 years. But thank you for your response I am hoping that Jesus will have mercy on me soon.
I think this issue is between me and Him. But I wanted to put this question out there because the Church seems to avoid the anguish and pain than people experience on a daily basis. I wish these complex topics were highlighted more often.
Yes, Melina, I do think this may be an issue between you and God. It may be an issue of trust and of surrender. We know that God has the ability to bring you a godly spouse, Melina. He is all-powerful. He loves you far more than you can imagine. He always has your best at the center of His love for you.
While choosing to follow your own heart and choose outside of His will may seem the only way for you, it will bring far more grief and pain than you are experiencing now. Having the support of an older godly woman in your life would be a blessing to you. Would you pray about who to speak to about your situation and the pain you carry? She could encourage you, pray for you, keep you pointed to Christ. Perhaps you can join together with some other women and do a Bible study so that your emotions are kept in line with Scripture.
As I was praying today, these broadcasts from Revive Our Hearts came to my mind. Would you take time to listen and pray through this? Some girls meet blossoming oak trees of men, deeply rooted in strong and unbreakable faith. Good for them. To some of us, thought, we are given the seeds that we must plant. As a young Christian woman who is strong in my faith, I of course imagined myself with a man who also loves the Lord.
Raised a Christian but intelligent and analytical to a fault, he has chosen for now to side with science and be an agnostic. I pray for him and will openly talk about spirituality. We cannot see the bigger picture, we do not know His plans.
I believe my boyfriend is someone God put in my life, made for me, and only I can know that. There are Christian men that lie and cheat as well as nonbelievers who are devoted and loyal. A Godly woman is strong enough to keep a relationship on the right path and with Him I choose to have faith in His plan not doubt. How sad would it be if He chose to give up on us if we strayed…I will not do that to the boy I love and share my life with.
Our hearts are deceitful above all things Jer. Our emotions cannot lead our decisions because they will lead us down a path that God may not have for us.
So, there is this girl that I have just recently started dating. of love and prayer for me to saved from my Atheism and I am not a fluke case. There's just one catch: she's a strong Christian, but I don't believe in God at all. There's a real danger of disconnect in the way the two of you will feel about. Should an atheist avoid dating a fundamentalist Christian? Each person on earth, if you believe as I do, you know this, I am just reminding.
God does search our hearts and He does not want anyone to perish and all to come to repentance 2 Pet. He does love your boyfriend and wants him to return to Christ in repentance and salvation. When we marry, we become one with our mates and that is not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually. God designed marriage to be a visible reminder of the pure love that Christ has for the church. He has a much bigger plan for our marriages than we can ever even imagine. It is important to remember that God will never lead us to do something that He specifically tells us in the Bible not to do.
For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? Is it okay to date non-Christians? That verse is way too vague and is not necessarily talking about marriage or dating. We are never truly equally yoked, one person is usually just a better Christian, smarter, kinder, etc.
You must realize that the data show there are far more Christian women than Christian men. What do you propose the left out women do?
Stay single? Given that studies tell us mixed faith relationships can and do result in successful and loving marriages I think the answer is easy. There are many factors that make for a happy and fulfilled marriage that are far more important than religious belief.
Surely common sense dictates your choice of who to spend the rest of your life with weighs heavily in favour of the atheist. The title of the website is ironic when you see that, really, the author has just traded one lie for another. This post is full of innaccuracies. At least, not a healthy one.
Personally, I believe such a relationship would be a living nightmare for the Atheist in general. That being said, saying that Atheists hate the idea of there being a god is just false generalization.
This is exactly why I hate Religion. Because god is the equivalent of santa clause to kids. The difference is kids eventually grow out of the santa clause belief where as adults cling to their beliefs likely out of comfort or fear. The Author is nothing but another brain washed fool. How can you really say about athiests like that.
You need to grow up even as a human first. How about eat something healthy. Religions are just trademarking for customer fools like some people i saw here. Try to live as human. Be a Human!! Mom was an atheist and dad a Christian. They were married for over 56 years and never had an argument about their differences. They gave us the full experience of education without bias…science and Catechism and allowed us the freedom of their love with any choice we might make.
They adored each other.
Do you think it's possible for a Christian and an atheist to be happily "I am not a woman who was born in San Jose, California, grew up on a. I am deeply concerned for you. An atheist and a Christian are not compatible. we should not marry (and therefore we should not date or long to date) someone who is not wholeheartedly pursuing and delighting in God. I am a Christian and married to an atheist. He grew up in a Christian family and didn't tell me that he didn't believe in God until the night before.
FYI two kids…one agnostic and one atheist. We have only discussed this once, but did not argue about it. Christianity is about the most selfish hateful divisive an destructive force on Earth. Im sorry for all of you. Its sad. God is supposed to have his children love unconditionally and lead happy lives. This is just blasphemous. Not all atheists hate the fact that people believe in god. If the man this girl is falling for does not share her faith now, then God possibly has someone else for her.
Thank you very much for your wise words. This is a great reminder that God has someone planned for my life and I am to give my heart to Him while He writes my love story.
I know that if the man God has planned for me is an atheist right now, that God will change His heart before our love story begins. I know that dating is not a missions field and when I try to interweave my life with a unbeliever, I will be the one dragged down into sin and destruction. If I truly feel that God has this person planned for me, I have faith to know that He will change their heart before I even have to worry.
He loves me so much more than any man ever will; even if he is a Christian man. I am praying for all my dear sisters who are currently dealing with this. I love you all, and more importantly, He loves you. Just hand Him the pen.
What kind of God would advocate that?? Great work. The intimacy we can know with another human here and now is nothing compared to the intimacy we will know with the One we were ultimately created for.
This is some real crap. I will admit that his religion interferes greatly with a few things such as him having to wait until marriage for sex, while I would be fine doing it anytime if he asked but I love him enough to look past it all and just deal with it. He loves me enough to look past my disbelief in his religion.
Ask John: Can a Christian and atheist be happily married?
I still go to his church events, even though I think every word is a lie, because I value our relationship more that my beliefs or lack thereof. This is heartbreaking. Do you not think that atheists do not have feelings too. Imagine finding out that your husband has been faking his Christianity after 8 years just so that he could share his life with the one and only person that he can be himself with in every aspect except one.
You do what you feel is right. I am a Christian was saved when I was 15 raised in a super conservative household, Baptist church and Baptist private school. I still appreciate my back ground, even if it seems strict to others.
I been married to a atheist for 7 years now, we have children too. I miss him when he goes to work, I never been so happy then the day I knew I loved him led to many more happy days. He is supportive of my love for God, though yes he does not himself believe He does not tell my kids not to believe in God or speak badly about God around us. Paula the evil that you are spreading is one of the most disgusting thing I have ever seen to come crawling out of a person and across the earth. You clearly have been blinded by hate and sin.
Shame on you. It is because of people like you and crap like this that you write that turns people away from christianity and our God. The world is soaked with hate and distrust because of evil. Articles like this are the work of the devil. Your hate and fear and misunderstanding of atheists is the blind ambition that evil uses to draw people father and farther from christ.
You know nothing of gods plans for this couple or any couple for that matter. You have no more right to judge people than a worm crawling through the mud.
If I had listed to people like you who spew bile at things they do not know of or understand, I would of been robbed of the happiest moments of my life. I am writing angry, which explains my insults towards you but but you have misspoke using our Lord and the scripture, based out of your ignorance. I will pray for you and this couple.
Do not let evil drive you Paula. Paula Marsteller Comments Print. An atheist and a Christian are not compatible. How do I know this?
Tell an older, godly woman about your struggle. Be completely honest with her, and ask her to help hold you accountable. Break off your relationship with this guy.